Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Good, the Bad and the Manny


Longest. Game. Ever. I started watching at work. Left and went running- got all the way home and the game was still on. At least the weather in Seattle was not scortchingly hot. If they had to play that game in Fenway they would have been wheeling people out on stretchers hooked up to IV's of Natty Light. It's hot in D.C. The walk from the Metro to the office in the morning is pure unadulterated Hell. There is no respite from the blinding sun. Not to mention I walk by 100 cars parked, idling cars filled with people waiting for the courts to open. Oh, and there is a ginormous construction site with pounding jack hammers and archaic machines kicking up all sorts of toxic dust. Did I mention it's also hot as hell out there? I should get hazard pay.


The long ball was not happening yesterday. There were a bunch of warning track long fly balls. It was nice to see some strategy in the 7th when they laid down a nice bunt that on a bad throw to first advanced the runner to third. They parlayed that into a RBI. Nice work. Look at Dice-K takin' the game all the way into the 8th. Dice-K had 3 hits, 1 run and 8 strike outs. He has officially caught the Wakefield disease. Step away from Timmehy, Dice-K. You can catch no run support if you get too close. It would have been over had Lugo not struck out. Get the count to 3-0 and still strike out? That sucks. Take a seat son, your ass needs to ride the wood for a while. And Manny, Manny Manny...where you out on fly ball catching day?


Pinero bread, Pinero bread...oh how I dislike thee. And, that's all I have to say about that.


Moving on- I've heard from three separate people that they believe Schilling will be back at the end of the season for a performance Royal of epic ass kickin and soul crushing proportions. I would love to see it but I'm not sure it will happen. I'll say I have my doubts. I'll gladly raise my hand and say "I AM a doubting Thomas." Then I'll be doubly giddy when I'm proven wrong.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

That's the Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia


Who doesn't love a game where the lead off man crushes the ball into the bleachers in the top of the first. I know, I know- my last post berated inter league play. However, last night seemed like batting practice. ESPN kept showing all the Sox fans in the stands. Love it. Take THAT HotLanta! We even got to see a nice flash of the leather from Papi at first- always entertaining.
After Drew's solo home run, Coco went yard with a three run homer. Wooooo weeeeee, I am coo coo for CoCo Cavelli. I think it's the braids. The crazy 'fro wasn't working for him. Hinske, Papi and Manny homered as well. 5 home runs, 5 doubles. Tavarez went 7 shut out innings. I am hanging up the batshit nickname and sticking with YoYo. He even got a double. YoYo allowed 3hits, struck out 4 and walked one. Great outing, YoYo. Keep it up!

Schilling got a cortisone shot and will be placed on the 15 day D.L. on Friday. Drew left last night's game with tightness in his quad. Further proof that we need some young blood in the ranks here folks. When you play 150 some odd games a year for 8-10 years no amount of training can keep you from starting to feel your age. Also sometimes you just don't want to be there according to YoYo. I feel ya Jools, sometimes I want to call it in too. But I make a fraction of what you make, so shut your snack shoot.


In other news, was Manny wearing pig tails last night? Was he really sportin' the handle bars? I'm still working on finding a picture.
Update: Found something better- a video of the handle bars. Ride em Youk!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Piss and Moan Part 1




I hate inter league play. Seriously, how long has Chipper Jones been playing baseball? The dude has to be subscribing to Dorian Grey Monthly. I understand the Atlanta Braves used to be the Boston Braves way back when, but they are not our rivals. No one cares. Selig? You hear me, Bud? NO ONE CARES. It was mildly entertaining to see the Sox sweep the Giants but it provided me about as much excitement as watching a Bruins game. The whole time I had my nose scrunched up like I was passing the Lowell Canals on draining day. The look of mild disgust, yet intrigue at what I was going to find under Barry Bonds ginormous crucifix earring.


After Schilling's shiteous start on Monday, he headed back to Boston for a MRI. Although he has not been totally on point this year, he is a veteran player who knows every damn hitter in the majors. There is no one that comes to the mound more mentally prepared than Schill. Too bad his body won't cooperate. The front office needs to jump and start making some choices here. I don't want to create panic here folks, but the Yankmees are gaining ground fast. Their lineup is unreal. Memo to Theo: start greasing some palms or get Bush to sign the stem cell research bill and start on cloning Beckett. And fast!


Beckett had another stellar outing last night. Even got a run scoring double. So hot. He got through 6 innings and then the trifecta of greatness took over for a total shut down of the offense. Snyder allowed 1 hit, Okajima 1 walk and Papelbon, my love, had a nice and quick 9th. I like these set up guys. They make Papelbon much more effective. I am a tad worried about the starting rotation being able to get to them effectively and efficiently all the way through until October.


So I guess this post wasn't all pissing and moaning. I've softened my outlook this year. At least for now- I guess I'm waiting for things to heat up before I start my panic posts.


Congrats to El Guapo and The Balt. They head off for their uncomming nuptials this weekend. I'll pick up the slack for now, but when I'm on vacation I except him to create Pulitzer worthy posts here. I'm trying to entice Cuz Dimples to begin posting on all things random. We'll see if I can convince her how theraputic this process is.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

WARNING: Chick Post!!


I'm a chick. That's not new news. I'm a chick who likes the color pink, paints her toe nails and gets excited when the new Sephora catalog comes in the mail. I'm also a chick who loves sports. I live for the highlight clips of the hardest hits of the week in football. I thrive on the competition of a true rivalry. But I'm still a chick and after last nights game I find myself with a giggly, weak in the knees, googling for images crush on Papelbon. Our pal Fitzy over at Townienews.com has defined the feeling one gets when they see Papelbon jog out in the 9th with his jaw set to steel and his pitch set to 97 mph. With the game on the line as he sets down batter after batter for a clean three up three down inning. As his velocity rises from 94mph, to 96mph to top out at 98mph with each pitch. I find myself sitting up straighter, moving to the end of my seat, establishing this goofy wide grin on my face. And it hits me, Fitzy has defined it and I'm experiencing it. A Papelboner. We've all had one, it's ok to admit it. It's natural. It's a part of life. Embrace it.

You can take your Brad Pitt's and your Leonardo DiCaprio's. I'll take Papelbon. He's one hunk of man meat. Even El Guapo agrees. When Papelbon stares in from the mound, everything seems right with the world. He's a mans man. Born and raised in Baton Rouge on squirrel meat and buck shot. He shaved his head to resemble Vaughn in Major League. That's hot. He then asked Boston fans to vote through the Boston Herald on what his song should be on when he runs out of the bullpen. Of course, Wild Thing, won out. That's even hotter. And when he brushes the batter back with a 98mph two seam fast ball, my head reels with desire.

So when your sitting, watching the game and you see Papelbon come tearing out of the bull pen, jogging across the vivid green grass of the outfield to the jarring sounds of "Wild Thing"; embrace your newly defined Papelboner and hope it's one of many this season.


Wild thaaaaang...
You make my heart siinnggg.....
You make everything....
Come on wild thang....I think I love you.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa



I've been slacking. Last week was a busy one and this week will be even worse. I apologize to the three people who read this blog- I'll try harder. Thanks to the dude up there for making that sign- it sums up all I wanted to say.
OK weekend wrap up. Oh, wait. First I should, I guess, say something about Schill's outing last week. He blew his no-no because a Bucco's fan was watching. It's true. His years and years of bad karma seeped out of his body, traveled through the television and up to Fenway. The "We are Family" curse traveled 500 miles from Ballston to the Fens and smacked right into Curt's fat head. That's the instant when Curt shook off Tek's sign and threw that pitch that hung right over the plate for a solid second too long. And folks, that was the end of that no-no. Never shake off Captain Awesome. Shit son, everyone knows that.


Another weekend of pointless inter league play. Friday I loafed around the house and had a baseball extravaganza! I watched the O's on TV (muted because I've never heard worse announcers in my life!), mlb.com brought me the Sox from Arizona and gameday gave me a play by play of the Yankmee's spanking the Buccos. (That's what you get ND! Karma is a biatch) Friday's game can be summed up in the following sentence, "I repeat, Beckett you friggen stud you!" 8 IP, 8 SO. In speaking to Pops yesterday regarding Beckett, we both agree he learned a lot last year. He pitched more innings last year than any previous year but he pitched with sheer might. This year he's using the ole noggin a bit more. We are seeing a more mature and refined Beckett. He'll still bean your ass if you crowd the plate but at least now he has the restraint not to laugh while doing it. Friday night- 10-3 Sox.

Saturday was a glorious day in DC. Wooderson and I spent the day hiking at Great Falls- enjoying nature and all its glory. Even after a night of Jim Beam, Wooderson's internal compass still guided us safely through the woods. The plus side to West Coast series is that the games don't inhibit me from actually being productive on a Saturday afternoon. Out in Georgetown that night we wandered over to The Rhino to catch the second half of the game. We were down 0-3 when I arrived. I was being taunted by Long Legs that we were toast and I might as well give up right then and there. Listen Long legs, your allegiance for the Yankmees is disturbing enough but don't ever count the Sox down and out. Ever. One swing of the bat from Captain Awesome and it was a 3-2 ball game. Tek had the two run homer and three RBI's. Lowell had a sac-fly in the 10th to bring home the go ahead run. How ya like them apples, Long Legs? Papelbon looked shaky but came away with save number 14. Something is up with him lately. Perhaps they are trying to finesse and tweak some stuff- whatever it is they better hurry up and get it right. Final score Sox 4-3.

Dice-K on the mound for Sunday's matinee. Struck out 9 in 6 innings. Not too shabby. It was scary to see Dice-K in the batters box against The Big Unit. Can I just sidestep here and say that he has to be the ugliest man in baseball. He looks like he got hit in the face with a bag of hot nickles. If you can find a scarier player, throw a link in the comments section. The disturbing intrigues me. Anyway, Dice-K said that The Big Unit's slider was unhittable. I concur.


Where were the bats yesterday? Lowell has another RBI to raise the team's number to 47. That's a league leader folks. It's hit or miss how things seem to come together behind some pitchers and not others. Dice-K pitched a good game but we seemed to struggle. It's like Wakefield and his historical lack of run support. A great call by the ump by calling interference with Coco and advancing him to second base. Great base running by Coco too. You got caught up in a rundown but turned it around to your advantage. Bravo Coco Cavelli. Final- D-back 5-1.


Like we needed further proof that Tavarez is crazy but we got it. He has been apparently throwing with a blister on his middle finger and this is what he had to say about it to Boston.com the other day: "[Josh ] Beckett would be on the DL with this," Tavarez said, showing the blister. Tavarez said he pops the blister and dries it out by rubbing in some Red Bull and ground-up aspirin." Holy Mary Mother of Gawd the dude is whacked. He might get the Dirt Dog of the Year award for that.


I believe I'm flying solo for a while in the blogosphere. El Guapo is getting hitched in a couple of weeks and his life has become understandably busy. We'll let him slide for now but I expect to see him in full "Mid season demented blind optimism mixed with micro brew and impending doom" antics after the honeymoon. If anyone wishes to co-pilot shoot me an email. We'd love to welcome you aboard.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

California Dreaming

I know there were no posts about the Yankmee's series. Sorry 'bout that, folks. Friday's game sucked a bag of hot nickles. Saturday's game was fantastic. Cuz Dimples and I ventured away from our usual haunts and hit up a bar in Clarendon. We ran into two fellow RSN citizens we know from a local Red Sox group. These two are always fun to watch the game with, and the dude has the loudest clap I've ever heard. I'm from Boston, that's saying a lot! After building dreams and making sure the plumbing industry could survive without him for a day and a half, Wooderson joined us as well. I even heard him utter the words, "I'm starting to like baseball". When following the Sox, who wouldn't fall in love with baseball?


Sunday brought a day filled with mimosas and naps. I watched a few innings before falling back asleep. All I needed was to see Saturday's game- the only one that really mattered. On a side note, I know he switched over to the bad side and he caused a whole lot of hoopla with the final out ball from the world series but aside from all that, Mientkiewicz still holds a place in my heart as being part of that magical Motley Crew of Fools. Hope you get well soon dude. What happened out there was some scary stuff!


OK, so on to last nights game which I didn't watch either because who can really stay up until 1am three nights in a row and still function at work? Not I. What I can do though is watch the compressed game on MLB tv. Best. Invention. Ever.


West Coast series are always tough on the Sox. The flight, the time difference, the lack of Dunkin Donuts. They were up against a hell of a pitcher, Haren, but still fought hard in this one. Papi ended his home run drought by going yard in the first. I have a visceral reaction to seeing Wily Mo Pena. When he actually connects with the ball it's an explosion of delicious power. However, to see him in the field makes me start whistling the Benny Hill theme song. I'd rather see Papi in the field than Wily Mo. Psssst, Wily- lay off the pitches low and outside buddy. You look wicked retahded when you swing at em.


Coco got a good jump from first and tossed on the after burners to cruise home and tie the game. Coco Cavelli's got some serious wheels. He looked like a man on a mission rounded those bases. One wouldn't think a guy with the name Coco could look so menacing.


Although I was hesitant to let a minor play on the team, Pedroia has become my new favorite Sox player. He has settled into second base very nicely. Turning graceful double plays and connecting at the plate often. Keep it up kid! But seriously, I couldn't see in the highlights, did the 3rd base couch tell Pedroia to go home or did he decide that all on his own? Rocket laser arm in the outfield got that ball back in a jiffy and Pedroia came to a grinding halt about four steps from home plate. No slide Dustin? No na na na boo boo and sliding in between the catchers legs? I think I saw you mouth "Uncle" before the tag.


I was pretty secure in the ability and effectiveness of our bullpen in the beginning of the season. Now, I'm not so sure. Donnelly seems to be doing ok, although is herky jerky delivery still throws me for a loop. Pinero Bread and JC (Jezus Christo?) Romero make my hair tinge gray. We need to settle in with 5 strong starting pitchers who can make it into the 7th so we have to rely less on these middle relievers which, to be honest, make me a little more than nervous.


Two more to go in the land of the fruits and the nuts. Then it's on to the SouthWest to pay a visit to the Diamondbacks. More late games and groggy mornings.